His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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