i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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