I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
