I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize