His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
