This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
