farters have to be the big spoon...
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
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