in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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