stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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