It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
