I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
