small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I intend to get homeless drunk
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
