We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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