That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
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