Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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