Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
The adults are the big ones right?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
