Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
