butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
