I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I'm drive I can fine osifer
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
