your parents love me but you hate me
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
