you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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