In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
