seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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