Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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