Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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