I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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