I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
