She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
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