Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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