I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
