I wish i was in the wii world.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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