I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
