it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize