"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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