You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
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