I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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