I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
