we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I didn't notice because vodka
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
