I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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