I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
