I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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