How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
