how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I want to have your abortion
Just took my morning after pill in the library
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
