My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
