Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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