I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
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