So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
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Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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