I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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