I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I forget how to act sober
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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