Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize