wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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