Is it normal to miss your booty call?
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
