your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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