saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
