Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
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