this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
