Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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