So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
