well you can't waste a boner
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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