and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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