You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Randomize