Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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