Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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